Joshua and I have been working on letters for a while. Slowly and not very consistently, but he has learned all of the letter sounds and can identify them in many different contexts. This week I'm trying to step up the school-related activities so that once the Little Three is born (and we're out of a routine and not planning many activities for a while) Joshua and Hannah will have been working toward some small and realistic goals beforehand.
The post is mainly about Joshua, but Hannah is doing really well. She can identify about half of the shapes on our learning objectives list and a few of the colors. As always, I'm never convinced that she's paying attention or understanding what we're talking about, but she jumps in and surprises me at nearly every turn. As an example, we learned about circles last week. Each time I asked her what shape was in front of her she would say the name of a color or answer "triangle". But then this week she is looking around her and identifying circles left and right. She is enjoying copying everything Joshua's learns as well. That means when he's learning to read, she sounds like she is too! :)
Joshua is working on counting (that's counting objects, not saying the memorized number sequence), number recognition, and phonics along with some readiness skills like using scissors. Counting has been a sore spot for us. He doesn't seem to want to count anything, even though he has on a number of occasions. I suspect there's a huge element of him staying in control that leads him to refuse to do what I've asked. But we're getting through it and he's starting to request to work on counting.
As for reading, he has sounded out a couple of words before but never really "gotten" it. Today he asked to do counting on our white board, so once we worked through that I thought we'd throw in some phonics. We reviewed letter sounds and then we put a few letters together. I thought it couldn't hurt just to see where he's at with it. And wouldn't you know it - Joshua sounded out three words! He read them for Claude just before bed tonight. I think Joshua was pretty proud of the accomplishment - and so were his parents!
Joshua's words for today were: "up", "cup" and "dump". Perhaps they're not the first sounds that one might find in a book about teaching phonics, but they were sounds he was getting today, so I went with it. As I've probably posted before, this may still be a long road to full literacy, but I think the concept of reading by sounding out strings (or trains as we call them) of letters is starting to make sense to Joshua. I feel like his learning to read is an even bigger milestone than when he started walking!
And yes, he's very interested in writing and can trace shapes, lines, letters and numbers. So before we know it, Joshua will be reading and writing. And hopefully the counting will come along for the ride.
21 July 2010
13 July 2010
Happy Birthday, Joshua!
I really like that when you turn three it doesn't matter that the birthday gifts haven't arrived yet, that Mom put up homemade, mismatching decorations or that the day was pretty much like every other day (with a couple of fun surprises throughout) - having a birthday is just really exciting when you're a little guy.
Yes, it's true, despite imperfect circumstances (a later than normal dinner, running home in a huge rainstorm, needing a time-out because he didn't obey) Joshua seemed to thoroughly enjoy his birthday. It just goes to show that it doesn't take much to help a kid feel special on his special day. We sang, made a birthday banner with drawings of all his favorite vehicles, decorated with an orange and green paper chain complimented by pink balloons, ate some pizza, and his favorite - lit candles on his chocolate cupcake. All of it seemed to be just enough to celebrate appropriately.
Now we'll see if he thinks that tomorrow is his birthday again!
Yes, it's true, despite imperfect circumstances (a later than normal dinner, running home in a huge rainstorm, needing a time-out because he didn't obey) Joshua seemed to thoroughly enjoy his birthday. It just goes to show that it doesn't take much to help a kid feel special on his special day. We sang, made a birthday banner with drawings of all his favorite vehicles, decorated with an orange and green paper chain complimented by pink balloons, ate some pizza, and his favorite - lit candles on his chocolate cupcake. All of it seemed to be just enough to celebrate appropriately.
Now we'll see if he thinks that tomorrow is his birthday again!
07 July 2010
In It for the Long Haul
So, I never got around to giving a final update about last weeks' Operation Have a New Kid by Friday endeavor. That's not because I haven't had enough to write about or enough thoughts to put down on virtual paper. Mostly we've been busy and this change in parenting has been pretty top on the list of things we're doing.
Really, the operation should be called Be a New Parent by Friday because the changes start with us - Dad and Mom - and trickle down to the little guys. With that in mind, it's not hard to understand how the second week has been more challenging than the first. The positive changes are still noticeable, but with factors from the rest of life - fatigue from last week being one - consistency has been difficult to maintain and commitment is not always easy to muster.
We have already taken the first steps to purposefully and very prayerfully changing our own responses, behaviors, attitudes, and characters in order to better train our children. Now the rubber is meeting the road and we realize that we're in it for the long haul.
Day by day, week by week, and year by year we must seek the Lord to enable us to remain faithful in this task of parenting. It's not enough to start well and fizzle out - to make changes for a few days and then revert back to the old habits. If it's true - and we know it is because we saw it with our own eyes - that it's possible to have a new kid by Friday, than it's also true that the old kid could be back by the next Friday. And he's not coming back alone.
It's like someone used to tell me: it's a process. And this parenting thing is certainly a long one - but a very good one. A very wise friend said to Claude and I that becoming a parent would make us better people. This is certainly proving to be true, but I can't help thinking that if the Lord wasn't helping us to willingly make changes in ourselves and our behaviors we wouldn't be on an upward path. Instead we would be cementing our old ways and possibly heading downhill. Praise the Lord that isn't the case, but boy do we need His grace to keep this up every day!
So, tonight in the Chew household we're still facing off in the bed time battles, still doing our best to remember to say it once, turn our backs, and walk away, and still trying to remain patient and calm instead of getting frustrated and angry. And yes, we are still seeing the fruits of the beginning labors of last week and the signs of positive change in all of us. Now to keep on keepin' on. Perhaps when we're out of the toddler zone with the first two we'll have more useful information to report and maybe, just maybe we'll come out of this stage better, more godly parents than when we went in.
Really, the operation should be called Be a New Parent by Friday because the changes start with us - Dad and Mom - and trickle down to the little guys. With that in mind, it's not hard to understand how the second week has been more challenging than the first. The positive changes are still noticeable, but with factors from the rest of life - fatigue from last week being one - consistency has been difficult to maintain and commitment is not always easy to muster.
We have already taken the first steps to purposefully and very prayerfully changing our own responses, behaviors, attitudes, and characters in order to better train our children. Now the rubber is meeting the road and we realize that we're in it for the long haul.
Day by day, week by week, and year by year we must seek the Lord to enable us to remain faithful in this task of parenting. It's not enough to start well and fizzle out - to make changes for a few days and then revert back to the old habits. If it's true - and we know it is because we saw it with our own eyes - that it's possible to have a new kid by Friday, than it's also true that the old kid could be back by the next Friday. And he's not coming back alone.
It's like someone used to tell me: it's a process. And this parenting thing is certainly a long one - but a very good one. A very wise friend said to Claude and I that becoming a parent would make us better people. This is certainly proving to be true, but I can't help thinking that if the Lord wasn't helping us to willingly make changes in ourselves and our behaviors we wouldn't be on an upward path. Instead we would be cementing our old ways and possibly heading downhill. Praise the Lord that isn't the case, but boy do we need His grace to keep this up every day!
So, tonight in the Chew household we're still facing off in the bed time battles, still doing our best to remember to say it once, turn our backs, and walk away, and still trying to remain patient and calm instead of getting frustrated and angry. And yes, we are still seeing the fruits of the beginning labors of last week and the signs of positive change in all of us. Now to keep on keepin' on. Perhaps when we're out of the toddler zone with the first two we'll have more useful information to report and maybe, just maybe we'll come out of this stage better, more godly parents than when we went in.
02 July 2010
You Never Know What You're Gonna Get
Trying to stay short and concise is not really my forte, especially when I'm tired and it's late at night. But since I am tired and it is late at night, I'll try my best.
News from the parenting front...
You just never know what you're gonna get when there are little ones involved with unique temperaments, personality traits, characteristics, likes, dislikes, etc etc etc... Tonight started out like a normal bed time. Surprisingly, after a 1 hour nap that happened very late in the afternoon, Joshua was going to sleep right away. And then Hannah announced from the bed room that she was ready to go poo-poo on the potty - this is huge for Hannah - so Claude ran for the opportunity and...
5 hours later (yes that's 5 as in more than 4 and less than 6) they are finally asleep. Well, we lost Hannah to dream land about 3 hours ago, but her big brother is..well...we're not really sure. He's just Joshua and bed time battles seem to come with his territory at the moment.
Needless to say, it was a little more than discouraging to find all of the clothing from both his and Hannah's shelves sprawled out on the bed room floor and crammed into the wrong cubbies, not once but three times. It was also a frustrating that after such a great day on all fronts, there is this one incident to remind us that we're all human and none of us will always respond perfectly even with the wisest parenting counsel we can get. And it was tiring for everyone involved.
In the end, Claude and I discovered that we haven't fully understood all that's going on with Joshua's bed time fights. There seem to be a few contributing factors, but we're embarking on a new and improved routine and will hopefully iron out the details of how to approach unwanted behaviors and attitudes. At least that's our plan for tomorrow.
Tonight ended quite peacefully. Joshua had been complaining that he was hungry for 2+ hours. This may be a short term loss on our parts, but because we didn't have a strategy, we were at a loss and finally decided to give him a snack which he very happily accepted, did not eat, and fell asleep guarding at the dining room table.
So, here's the game plan for the future (we'll see if it actually works!)...
Joshua gets to have more responsibility in getting ready for bed. We have learned that forcing obedient behavior simply does not work for anyone, and especially not a three year old. And he seems to obey very well when he is respectfully asked to accomplish a task that is within his abilities. We, of course, encourage such behavior with verbal affirmation and pats on the back. This makes him want to obey more. In fact, tonight he was asking us for jobs to do!
The thought behind this plan is simple - if he is trying to gain control over bed time by throwing tantrums and coming out of his room multiple times an evening, then why not just give him the responsibility of getting himself ready and in bed? In part he'll be so busy getting his bed time responsibilities done that he theoretically won't have time for tantrums. Hopefully...
Again, we will see how this works. At the very least Claude and I will have sat down to work out a consistent way of upholding the bed time boundaries - once you're in bed you stay in bed.
And now, before I pull a Joshua, I'll sign off and go to sleep. More on this (if there's even anyone who cares to know) in another post
News from the parenting front...
You just never know what you're gonna get when there are little ones involved with unique temperaments, personality traits, characteristics, likes, dislikes, etc etc etc... Tonight started out like a normal bed time. Surprisingly, after a 1 hour nap that happened very late in the afternoon, Joshua was going to sleep right away. And then Hannah announced from the bed room that she was ready to go poo-poo on the potty - this is huge for Hannah - so Claude ran for the opportunity and...
5 hours later (yes that's 5 as in more than 4 and less than 6) they are finally asleep. Well, we lost Hannah to dream land about 3 hours ago, but her big brother is..well...we're not really sure. He's just Joshua and bed time battles seem to come with his territory at the moment.
Needless to say, it was a little more than discouraging to find all of the clothing from both his and Hannah's shelves sprawled out on the bed room floor and crammed into the wrong cubbies, not once but three times. It was also a frustrating that after such a great day on all fronts, there is this one incident to remind us that we're all human and none of us will always respond perfectly even with the wisest parenting counsel we can get. And it was tiring for everyone involved.
In the end, Claude and I discovered that we haven't fully understood all that's going on with Joshua's bed time fights. There seem to be a few contributing factors, but we're embarking on a new and improved routine and will hopefully iron out the details of how to approach unwanted behaviors and attitudes. At least that's our plan for tomorrow.
Tonight ended quite peacefully. Joshua had been complaining that he was hungry for 2+ hours. This may be a short term loss on our parts, but because we didn't have a strategy, we were at a loss and finally decided to give him a snack which he very happily accepted, did not eat, and fell asleep guarding at the dining room table.
So, here's the game plan for the future (we'll see if it actually works!)...
Joshua gets to have more responsibility in getting ready for bed. We have learned that forcing obedient behavior simply does not work for anyone, and especially not a three year old. And he seems to obey very well when he is respectfully asked to accomplish a task that is within his abilities. We, of course, encourage such behavior with verbal affirmation and pats on the back. This makes him want to obey more. In fact, tonight he was asking us for jobs to do!
The thought behind this plan is simple - if he is trying to gain control over bed time by throwing tantrums and coming out of his room multiple times an evening, then why not just give him the responsibility of getting himself ready and in bed? In part he'll be so busy getting his bed time responsibilities done that he theoretically won't have time for tantrums. Hopefully...
Again, we will see how this works. At the very least Claude and I will have sat down to work out a consistent way of upholding the bed time boundaries - once you're in bed you stay in bed.
And now, before I pull a Joshua, I'll sign off and go to sleep. More on this (if there's even anyone who cares to know) in another post
Quick Report from the Parenting Front
We've made it through day 4 of what Claude calls "Operation New Kid by Friday". Already we see huge changes in ourselves and in Joshua and Hannah. Here's what we've seen so far...
Greater independence means more than just fewer things to do for Dad and Mom.
We're noticing that this fosters respect, especially our respect of Joshua and Hannah. They gain confidence that they can do things for themselves, and we learn that we don't have to do every little thing for them.
On the independence front we can report the following:
-Joshua and Hannah now pick out their own clothes
-clean up their toys with very little supervision
-wash their hands and faces (Hannah is supervised, but Joshua can do it by himself now)
-Joshua dresses himself (the tantrums are nearly gone)
-tonight without me asking Joshua cleared his place from dinner, took off his bib, put everything in the sink and then proceeded to help Hannah take off her bib who in turn put her plate and bib in the sink. I didn't have to do a thing!
Bed time battles subside.
Bed time has never been a strong point for us as a family. We've been through many battles in the three years since our firstborn entered this world. It hasn't been fun, it hasn't been easy, and whatever we've done it hasn't been successful. This week has been difficult on the bed time front, starting with a 4 1/2 hour tantrum on Monday night, but things have definitely gotten better.
On the bed time front we report the following:
-Joshua and Hannah have been sleeping through the night without demanding cups/bottles of milk since the beginning of the week.
-both have stopped waking up in the normal 10-11pm and 3-4am windows
-Joshua went to bed tonight (Thursday) without coming out and last night when he did come out his issues were resolved in minutes instead of hours
-we're all extremely exhausted - the change in routine and the many tantrums at the start of the week have made for significantly less sleep than usual...but it's so worth it!
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Yep, obedience! And Joshua and Hannah are really getting the hang of it. Mom and Dad, on the flip side, are getting the hang of firm and loving authority that commands respect without force. Praise the Lord! This has made the days so so so so so so so so so so much better! And the little guys seem much more confident and secure now that they're parents have a better game plan for consistently maintaining order.
On the obedience front we would like to report the following:
-Say it once! Really...that's all it takes.
-Joshua and Hannah both respond more quickly to instructions and requests, even when it's a request to come see Mom because they need correction over an attitude or behavior
-fewer tantrums all around
-a positive change in attitude, although we still hear plenty of "I can't" "I don't want to" and other whines
-correction and discipline has been needed far less - the new way seems to be teaching both kids some self-control (or rather, expecting it of them)
-Joshua is often encouraging Hannah to obey in situations when she is apt to be defiant (tonight he talked to her, took her hand, and led her back to the bed for our bed time reading - all this after she had run off when I asked her to sit down with us)
-Joshua especially has a greater awareness of his actions and the actions of others. In other words, he's learning right from wrong and he's humbly admitting when he's wrong...some of the time. He's also learning to communicate how he feels since we have made a point to tell him how we feel when he yells or screams at us.
And there's more - relationships, learning more about ourselves as parents, seeing more of who are kids are, realizing the importance of patience and finally discovering a way to practice such a virtue, gaining wisdom and insight into the why's of Joshua and Hannah's behaviors and attitudes, and still feeling a bit overwhelmed or run down at times. Overall, this has been a great week of change - now for days five, six, seven...until the end of our parenting years. It's definitely not over after tomorrow, but at least we got moving. And now, with the Lord's continued help, we will keep rolling along.
Greater independence means more than just fewer things to do for Dad and Mom.
We're noticing that this fosters respect, especially our respect of Joshua and Hannah. They gain confidence that they can do things for themselves, and we learn that we don't have to do every little thing for them.
On the independence front we can report the following:
-Joshua and Hannah now pick out their own clothes
-clean up their toys with very little supervision
-wash their hands and faces (Hannah is supervised, but Joshua can do it by himself now)
-Joshua dresses himself (the tantrums are nearly gone)
-tonight without me asking Joshua cleared his place from dinner, took off his bib, put everything in the sink and then proceeded to help Hannah take off her bib who in turn put her plate and bib in the sink. I didn't have to do a thing!
Bed time battles subside.
Bed time has never been a strong point for us as a family. We've been through many battles in the three years since our firstborn entered this world. It hasn't been fun, it hasn't been easy, and whatever we've done it hasn't been successful. This week has been difficult on the bed time front, starting with a 4 1/2 hour tantrum on Monday night, but things have definitely gotten better.
On the bed time front we report the following:
-Joshua and Hannah have been sleeping through the night without demanding cups/bottles of milk since the beginning of the week.
-both have stopped waking up in the normal 10-11pm and 3-4am windows
-Joshua went to bed tonight (Thursday) without coming out and last night when he did come out his issues were resolved in minutes instead of hours
-we're all extremely exhausted - the change in routine and the many tantrums at the start of the week have made for significantly less sleep than usual...but it's so worth it!
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Yep, obedience! And Joshua and Hannah are really getting the hang of it. Mom and Dad, on the flip side, are getting the hang of firm and loving authority that commands respect without force. Praise the Lord! This has made the days so so so so so so so so so so much better! And the little guys seem much more confident and secure now that they're parents have a better game plan for consistently maintaining order.
On the obedience front we would like to report the following:
-Say it once! Really...that's all it takes.
-Joshua and Hannah both respond more quickly to instructions and requests, even when it's a request to come see Mom because they need correction over an attitude or behavior
-fewer tantrums all around
-a positive change in attitude, although we still hear plenty of "I can't" "I don't want to" and other whines
-correction and discipline has been needed far less - the new way seems to be teaching both kids some self-control (or rather, expecting it of them)
-Joshua is often encouraging Hannah to obey in situations when she is apt to be defiant (tonight he talked to her, took her hand, and led her back to the bed for our bed time reading - all this after she had run off when I asked her to sit down with us)
-Joshua especially has a greater awareness of his actions and the actions of others. In other words, he's learning right from wrong and he's humbly admitting when he's wrong...some of the time. He's also learning to communicate how he feels since we have made a point to tell him how we feel when he yells or screams at us.
And there's more - relationships, learning more about ourselves as parents, seeing more of who are kids are, realizing the importance of patience and finally discovering a way to practice such a virtue, gaining wisdom and insight into the why's of Joshua and Hannah's behaviors and attitudes, and still feeling a bit overwhelmed or run down at times. Overall, this has been a great week of change - now for days five, six, seven...until the end of our parenting years. It's definitely not over after tomorrow, but at least we got moving. And now, with the Lord's continued help, we will keep rolling along.
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